relationships...
they tend to annoy me a little. well maybe a lot.
Maybe it's because my success rate isn't that great or maybe it's because my friends and acquaintances run the extremes in their relationships... half of the circle is either married and in "so much bliss they need to be surgically separated from their spouse", married and wondering "why did I get married so young?" or engaged and excited about their future or engaged and pregnant and the other half are in the "I'm desperate to find a mate club," the "she-woman man-hater cause I've been scorned club" or the "I'm every woman I don't ever need a man, fuuck the world cause I'm independent and a womanist club"....
me I fall in the none of the above club.
If I'm in a relationship cool if not that's cool too. I don't need a man in order to breathe and I especially don't need one to be the catalyst to measure whether happiness is something that is prevalent in my life.
I was talking to a friend for a good two hours on relationships and all the ups and downs that come with it, and believe me they can draw out emotions and cause you to go through an emotional whirlwind, but should there be so many extremes in our views. Should we feel like being in a relationship makes us better than a single person, even if our relationship is filled with toxicity? Should we allow one, two, or even three guys taint our views of all men and we take that aggression out on the next guy and cause unnecessary drama? Should we feel that some of our positions and views in lives of being strong and independent would be weakened if we gave in to the idea of being with and loving someone? Should we feel like our life isn't complete without prince charming there to whisk us off our feet and take us to happily ever after? My answer to all of these is NO.
I've been in so many situations when it has come to relationships, hell this year alone I can say I've had the most drama filled relationship that I've ever experienced, but has that made me some relationship extremist, no I'm pretty much the same way as before, with maybe just an inch or two of tougher skin, but nonetheless I'm not going to let past relationship mishaps impede on all the endless possibilities that are out there.
We have to stop letting the opposite sex define us. Since a close friend of mine and her boyfriend parted all I hear is that life is "unbearable," she gained 15 pounds in a month, sunk into a depression, and says she can't see her future without him. Now this is a problem. I know we all mourn lost relationships and go through a process but we have to be strong. For our own well being.
I've had some relationships die over some dumb shyt, and I could be that bitter bytch (that lives deep inside of me at times) and be mad and act a fool but what is that doing but delaying me from progressing and being happy. I've had a relationship sour because a guy was jealous that my time was being diverted from him because of school and my pledging **I mean membership intake** so being the sucka that he was he bailed out, I could have been mad, but no, I had better sights and things to attain. Now when I see him looking like a hot ass mess that kind of makes me feel good inside (just kidding), but seriously it allows me to see that because I got out of that relationship when I did I avoided certain things that could have hurt me in the long run and that something better is in the horizon.
This topic is so complex and makes my head hurt at times because I have the "I'm happy either way mentality" about 99.9% of the time but at times this little bug likes to stop by and say are you truly happy, is your life complete, have guys from the past messed up your psyche, are you lying to yourself?!?... and that's when that looking out for your own well being kicks in and you tell yourself that you are where you are in life at this time for a reason, that you may not completely understand.... and that's when you and one girlfriend from each of the extremist categories goes out to buy shoes or have a mango martini or eat lunch and you regain your composure and realize that I really am fine with it either way.
Maybe it's because my success rate isn't that great or maybe it's because my friends and acquaintances run the extremes in their relationships... half of the circle is either married and in "so much bliss they need to be surgically separated from their spouse", married and wondering "why did I get married so young?" or engaged and excited about their future or engaged and pregnant and the other half are in the "I'm desperate to find a mate club," the "she-woman man-hater cause I've been scorned club" or the "I'm every woman I don't ever need a man, fuuck the world cause I'm independent and a womanist club"....
me I fall in the none of the above club.
If I'm in a relationship cool if not that's cool too. I don't need a man in order to breathe and I especially don't need one to be the catalyst to measure whether happiness is something that is prevalent in my life.
I was talking to a friend for a good two hours on relationships and all the ups and downs that come with it, and believe me they can draw out emotions and cause you to go through an emotional whirlwind, but should there be so many extremes in our views. Should we feel like being in a relationship makes us better than a single person, even if our relationship is filled with toxicity? Should we allow one, two, or even three guys taint our views of all men and we take that aggression out on the next guy and cause unnecessary drama? Should we feel that some of our positions and views in lives of being strong and independent would be weakened if we gave in to the idea of being with and loving someone? Should we feel like our life isn't complete without prince charming there to whisk us off our feet and take us to happily ever after? My answer to all of these is NO.
I've been in so many situations when it has come to relationships, hell this year alone I can say I've had the most drama filled relationship that I've ever experienced, but has that made me some relationship extremist, no I'm pretty much the same way as before, with maybe just an inch or two of tougher skin, but nonetheless I'm not going to let past relationship mishaps impede on all the endless possibilities that are out there.
We have to stop letting the opposite sex define us. Since a close friend of mine and her boyfriend parted all I hear is that life is "unbearable," she gained 15 pounds in a month, sunk into a depression, and says she can't see her future without him. Now this is a problem. I know we all mourn lost relationships and go through a process but we have to be strong. For our own well being.
I've had some relationships die over some dumb shyt, and I could be that bitter bytch (that lives deep inside of me at times) and be mad and act a fool but what is that doing but delaying me from progressing and being happy. I've had a relationship sour because a guy was jealous that my time was being diverted from him because of school and my pledging **I mean membership intake** so being the sucka that he was he bailed out, I could have been mad, but no, I had better sights and things to attain. Now when I see him looking like a hot ass mess that kind of makes me feel good inside (just kidding), but seriously it allows me to see that because I got out of that relationship when I did I avoided certain things that could have hurt me in the long run and that something better is in the horizon.
This topic is so complex and makes my head hurt at times because I have the "I'm happy either way mentality" about 99.9% of the time but at times this little bug likes to stop by and say are you truly happy, is your life complete, have guys from the past messed up your psyche, are you lying to yourself?!?... and that's when that looking out for your own well being kicks in and you tell yourself that you are where you are in life at this time for a reason, that you may not completely understand.... and that's when you and one girlfriend from each of the extremist categories goes out to buy shoes or have a mango martini or eat lunch and you regain your composure and realize that I really am fine with it either way.
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