All of my love
I have to add this entry just to send love to the most important man who was ever in my life, my daddy.
9 years ago today he left this world to go to a better place.
Words can not explain the pain I felt the day I walked home from school and was greeted by my mom and my sister who had to tell that my daddy was gone. I remember them telling me while we were driving in the car and I remember crying and screaming and feeling so EMPTY and so LOST.
The one man who I knew would love me unconditionally, the man who I thought would see me graduate, the man who I thought would walk me down the aisle and lift my vail and kiss me on my cheek, the man who I thought my kids would get to play with and be able to know like Jaylen got to for those few months was GONE.
I'm sitting here crying now, thinking about how I miss him and how he hasn't been here to see my niece and other nephew be born, and he didn't get to see me graduate from high school, undergrad and now grad school.
All the time I hear from friends and family how proud he would be of me and how I look like him or remind them of him and I wish that he was here.
I know that is wishful thinking and I know that won't happen but I still wish.
It hurts me to hear people say they hate their dad and they can't stand to be around their dad, because I don't have one anymore and I'd do anything to see him again and give him a hug, and tell him that I love him, and have him sing me a song, or make me laugh, or pick me up from school, or just to have the chance to say goodbye.
Now that I've made myself cry. I'm going to stop, but I had to acknowledge and give recognition and love to a person who made me who I am today and who I love with all my heart.
I know he is watching over me and protecting me and scaring the extra crazy guys away :) and I had to write a message to acknowledge him because I love him and miss him oh so very much.
"If I could steal one final glance, one final step, one final dance with him... I’d play a song that would never, ever end... ‘Cause I’d love... To dance with my father again"
9 years ago today he left this world to go to a better place.
Words can not explain the pain I felt the day I walked home from school and was greeted by my mom and my sister who had to tell that my daddy was gone. I remember them telling me while we were driving in the car and I remember crying and screaming and feeling so EMPTY and so LOST.
The one man who I knew would love me unconditionally, the man who I thought would see me graduate, the man who I thought would walk me down the aisle and lift my vail and kiss me on my cheek, the man who I thought my kids would get to play with and be able to know like Jaylen got to for those few months was GONE.
I'm sitting here crying now, thinking about how I miss him and how he hasn't been here to see my niece and other nephew be born, and he didn't get to see me graduate from high school, undergrad and now grad school.
All the time I hear from friends and family how proud he would be of me and how I look like him or remind them of him and I wish that he was here.
I know that is wishful thinking and I know that won't happen but I still wish.
It hurts me to hear people say they hate their dad and they can't stand to be around their dad, because I don't have one anymore and I'd do anything to see him again and give him a hug, and tell him that I love him, and have him sing me a song, or make me laugh, or pick me up from school, or just to have the chance to say goodbye.
Now that I've made myself cry. I'm going to stop, but I had to acknowledge and give recognition and love to a person who made me who I am today and who I love with all my heart.
I know he is watching over me and protecting me and scaring the extra crazy guys away :) and I had to write a message to acknowledge him because I love him and miss him oh so very much.
"If I could steal one final glance, one final step, one final dance with him... I’d play a song that would never, ever end... ‘Cause I’d love... To dance with my father again"
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