just venting
So I'm planning my bestfriend J's birthday party with her roommate... the Urban Princess (U.P.).
We both agreed that we'd arrange a dinner party at Maggiano's since the cost is reasonable enough for most people and then we'd have cake, libations and chilling back at the apartment. See this is where the differences start. I'm more of the mixed drinks, wine, champagne, a few beers (for the guys), talk, play some games type of host. She's more of the lets get some 40's, boxed wine, hard liquor and drink til you either throw up or passes out type of host.
I've also talk to my bestfriend everyday and she keeps telling me she wants something small and intimate with close friends no family. Urban Princess sent out a mass email to a good 25 people including her sisters (who my bestfriend hates) and to my bestfriends mom, dad, brothers and sister.
Then we get to the subject of cake. So I'm thinking okay since it's her birthday I'll get her her favorite cake and then like a sheetcake for everyone else at the party. U.P. wants to get her a novelty cake shaped like a penis. Okay lets pause for a second and think about this. She invites my bestfriends, mother (who acts like she is Jesus' fraternal twin), father, brothers and some people we are cool with from church and her coworkers and she wants to get a cake shaped like a damn penis. Anyway back to the story. So I tell U.P. that I think that J may be a tad bit embarrassed if we got her the penis cake, so perhaps we get a regular cake and if we have to get a novelty cake we'll keep that in the kitchen for the girls only. See I compromised, well I tried. U.P. wants to be like "she'll get over the embarrassment and it's not like everyone in the room aint seen a dick before." Great so you want everyone at the party to have to eat a dick.
So we get on the subjects of drinks. J's man has a bestfriend who is a bartender. He took off of work so that he could be bartender at the party because me and J asked him months ago. U.P. doesn't want him there because she tried to holler at him a while back and he told her he liked more of a natural woman that is a bit more conservative (meaning real hair, real eyes, knows the difference between work and club clothes etc.). So she hates him cause he called her bluff and was just not that into her. So she wants to serve 40's (I'm soo serious about that too), franzia *gasp* (I'll be damned if any party with my name on the evite serves boxed wine), verdi ("champagne" that costs $6.00 for a 1.5 liter bottle) and get some hard liquor... when J drinks NONE of that and we could have a real bartender who can make real drinks and will bring the liquor at his expense.
Then the gifts. U.P. is the friend that always tries to outdo everyone else. So she's called me 4 times in the past 2 days asking what am I buying J. I just keep making up shyt and she comes back dumber...I said I was going buy her a star from the star registry so she says oh okay maybe I'll get her some moon rock. LMAO see dumb shyt. I said I'm going get her a spa treatment she says maybe I can rent out the spa for her. Lets take another pause, If you couldn't bail yourself out of jail or afford to pay your phone bill what spa are you renting out. Hell what spa can you even walk in to. But I digressed again.
So I see this is going to be a big competition. She doesn't know she's messing with the B. Smith/Martha Stewart/Colin Cowie of party planning and gift giving. She better learn she can't compete because I will shake a martini, make a gift basket, bake her cookies, knit a scarf and have Stevie Wonder come in there and sing happy birthday to J., while U.P is in the corner looking stupid well maybe not all of that but you get my drift.
I'm thinking that I may just have to have my plan B in effect and do something with J next Friday night that I can ensure will be fun, chic and to her liking. It's going to be very very interesting.
We both agreed that we'd arrange a dinner party at Maggiano's since the cost is reasonable enough for most people and then we'd have cake, libations and chilling back at the apartment. See this is where the differences start. I'm more of the mixed drinks, wine, champagne, a few beers (for the guys), talk, play some games type of host. She's more of the lets get some 40's, boxed wine, hard liquor and drink til you either throw up or passes out type of host.
I've also talk to my bestfriend everyday and she keeps telling me she wants something small and intimate with close friends no family. Urban Princess sent out a mass email to a good 25 people including her sisters (who my bestfriend hates) and to my bestfriends mom, dad, brothers and sister.
Then we get to the subject of cake. So I'm thinking okay since it's her birthday I'll get her her favorite cake and then like a sheetcake for everyone else at the party. U.P. wants to get her a novelty cake shaped like a penis. Okay lets pause for a second and think about this. She invites my bestfriends, mother (who acts like she is Jesus' fraternal twin), father, brothers and some people we are cool with from church and her coworkers and she wants to get a cake shaped like a damn penis. Anyway back to the story. So I tell U.P. that I think that J may be a tad bit embarrassed if we got her the penis cake, so perhaps we get a regular cake and if we have to get a novelty cake we'll keep that in the kitchen for the girls only. See I compromised, well I tried. U.P. wants to be like "she'll get over the embarrassment and it's not like everyone in the room aint seen a dick before." Great so you want everyone at the party to have to eat a dick.
So we get on the subjects of drinks. J's man has a bestfriend who is a bartender. He took off of work so that he could be bartender at the party because me and J asked him months ago. U.P. doesn't want him there because she tried to holler at him a while back and he told her he liked more of a natural woman that is a bit more conservative (meaning real hair, real eyes, knows the difference between work and club clothes etc.). So she hates him cause he called her bluff and was just not that into her. So she wants to serve 40's (I'm soo serious about that too), franzia *gasp* (I'll be damned if any party with my name on the evite serves boxed wine), verdi ("champagne" that costs $6.00 for a 1.5 liter bottle) and get some hard liquor... when J drinks NONE of that and we could have a real bartender who can make real drinks and will bring the liquor at his expense.
Then the gifts. U.P. is the friend that always tries to outdo everyone else. So she's called me 4 times in the past 2 days asking what am I buying J. I just keep making up shyt and she comes back dumber...I said I was going buy her a star from the star registry so she says oh okay maybe I'll get her some moon rock. LMAO see dumb shyt. I said I'm going get her a spa treatment she says maybe I can rent out the spa for her. Lets take another pause, If you couldn't bail yourself out of jail or afford to pay your phone bill what spa are you renting out. Hell what spa can you even walk in to. But I digressed again.
So I see this is going to be a big competition. She doesn't know she's messing with the B. Smith/Martha Stewart/Colin Cowie of party planning and gift giving. She better learn she can't compete because I will shake a martini, make a gift basket, bake her cookies, knit a scarf and have Stevie Wonder come in there and sing happy birthday to J., while U.P is in the corner looking stupid well maybe not all of that but you get my drift.
I'm thinking that I may just have to have my plan B in effect and do something with J next Friday night that I can ensure will be fun, chic and to her liking. It's going to be very very interesting.
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