my black family...the siblings
It's 1980, imagine you are a 12yr old girl and 10yr old boy, it's a Saturday in October and your parents say hey let's go to Wendy's. You think dag mom and dad are being real nice and so you hop in the car amped to get your frosty, burger and fries. You get to Wendy's get your food and you sit down to eat then mom and dad start cheesing. They tell you "guess what we are having a baby" and your response is "ewwww that's nasty yall are old."
That was the excitement and warm reception that was received when my parents announced that I was on way.
See my parents had just gotten married that June and both had children from previous marriages. They were a little seasoned in age mom was 31 and dad 45 and my sister and brother were still adjusting to going from only children to having each other so now here I come really adding another dynamic.
From what I understand throughout the pregnancy the idea of me coming grew on them and they actually gained some excitement. I decided I was tired of living in the womb so I showed up a month early. I then became my sister's babydoll, she would actually be excited to come over our house on the weekend and would hold me all weekend like I was a toy. My brother would hold me up to the screen door and show all his friends before running off to football practice then as soon as he came back he'd come in and shower (dad wouldn't let him hold me dirty) so he could play with me.
As I grew up our relationship became rocky. I was what some people like to call a spoiled brat. I was like six with the biggest room in the house a whole room full of toys and clothes a 19 inch color tv (sister and bro had black and white 13 inch screens). There would be times that they would secretly torture me e.g. pushing me down the stairs, tying me up in the laundry room, taking me to see movies like Child's Play and then tucking me in bed and telling me that my Cricket doll was Chucky's cousin, pushing me in the deep end of the swimming pool on a float knowing I couldn't swim and then going back in the hotel... you know things like that.
Don't get me wrong I was an ass... I would call daddy at work and be like "Did you say Ron could drive your other car today" daddy would say no why and I'd be like "oh no reason" lol, or I'd be like "yeah I had fun today, Misa's boyfriend came over and we played my Nintendo until they went in the room and locked the door" and my favorite was "mom why does Ron keep 'tea' in a little tiny baggy in the drawer in his room."
My parents played a part in the tension too. My dad was trying to make up on me for all the mistakes he had made with my sister (him and her mom went through an ugly divorce) and my mom was trying to provide more for me then she could as a single parent to my brother. So a lot of things they got yelled at for I often got away with e.g. throwing a temper tantrum in Landover Mall for a purple Adi.das sweatsuit (I was fashionable then too lol). Instead of me getting my ass whipped like I should have my dad bought it along with some purple sneakers. My parents also would send me on dates with them (more of my dad's doing), my brother in law always teases me how his first date with my sister was really a date with me and my sister. Christmas was also a cause of tension, one year I had so much stuff that all my gifts were put in the family room downstairs and everyone else's stuff was under the tree upstairs. I was also the one that was in protocol school; taking piano flute and voice lessons; horse back riding; participating in forensics and debates... all before I was like 7.
When they went to college things began to change I was like seven and they were both gone. I basically lived as an only child but I had some perks and appreciated them. I was seven staying in my sisters dorm at Norfolk (like Rudy did when she visited Denise at Hillman) and I even went to class with her. I got to go wit my sister to Del State to see her boyfriend (now my brother in law) play football. They would go on a date and his roommate would watch me (hmm now it makes sense why I like Ques so much lol). When I visited my brother at NCCU while he was playing football I got to sit with the cheerleaders (he dated one) and they let me go with them to practice. My brother's friends were sick of hearing how smart his little sister was and how she was going to take over the world when she grew up. Then to top it I was like the only kid in elementary who was flyy and didn't look busted because my sister and brother wouldn't let that happen and then I was A HIT when my sister let me carry her MCM bag to school one day lol.
There was still a little tension growing up because I was so "spoiled" but a lot of that changed when my dad passed away. We learned to be a support unit for each other. The only issues we really had then were all in jest and how my mom got leniant with me e.g. me having no curfew and driving a brand new car at 16. But we were definitely tighter. My brother would joke how he couldn't wait til I was 18 to take me to drink lol (not 21 but 18 lol) and my sister got married and became a mommy and so I became super aunt and was spoiling her kids and spending more time with her.
Our tight sibling triangle got broken February 6, 1998. I was walking home from school and I saw my sister's car at my house. I knew something was wrong because my mom was home early and my sister should have been at work. I walked in the door my mom and sister just both looked at me and then told me my brother had been killed in an accident. I think that was one of THE MOST devastating moments in my life. That actually hit me harder then my dad dying. See my brother lived in NC and had been home 2 weeks earlier we all went out and they treated me like an adult for a change. We took a family portrait and sibling portrait and we had soo much fun and then that.
That was a rough time in my life but it made my sister and I's bond tighter. She's actually more like a mom at times. When I went to college she cried and wouldn't come visit "because I was growing up too fast," she asked "does your campus have a health center just in case you need some prophylactics" lol, and sent me flannel pj's with teddy bears and feet in them and buttons instead of zippers to keep the boys away. When I turned 21 she couldn't believe that and cried my entire party (also could have been her hormones since she was 8 months pregnant lol). Even now she gets all nervous if she sees me with a drink and questions who I'm going out with where am I going, be in at a decent hour etc. When my mom was out of town she made me come over for dinner to make sure I ate (like I can't cook) and whenever I visit during the week she always packs my lunch lol (and my nephew who is 10 gets an attitude because he has to pack his own lol).
Things started out rough and they were not too thrilled with my pending arrival. Part of the triangle is missing and with that we feel like a piece of us is missing. But my siblings are one part of My Black Family that I feel like I couldn't have received or asked for anything better.
Now that I'm older I appreciate them more and feel blessed that this little spoiled unexpected kid had them to look up to.
That was the excitement and warm reception that was received when my parents announced that I was on way.
See my parents had just gotten married that June and both had children from previous marriages. They were a little seasoned in age mom was 31 and dad 45 and my sister and brother were still adjusting to going from only children to having each other so now here I come really adding another dynamic.
From what I understand throughout the pregnancy the idea of me coming grew on them and they actually gained some excitement. I decided I was tired of living in the womb so I showed up a month early. I then became my sister's babydoll, she would actually be excited to come over our house on the weekend and would hold me all weekend like I was a toy. My brother would hold me up to the screen door and show all his friends before running off to football practice then as soon as he came back he'd come in and shower (dad wouldn't let him hold me dirty) so he could play with me.
As I grew up our relationship became rocky. I was what some people like to call a spoiled brat. I was like six with the biggest room in the house a whole room full of toys and clothes a 19 inch color tv (sister and bro had black and white 13 inch screens). There would be times that they would secretly torture me e.g. pushing me down the stairs, tying me up in the laundry room, taking me to see movies like Child's Play and then tucking me in bed and telling me that my Cricket doll was Chucky's cousin, pushing me in the deep end of the swimming pool on a float knowing I couldn't swim and then going back in the hotel... you know things like that.
Don't get me wrong I was an ass... I would call daddy at work and be like "Did you say Ron could drive your other car today" daddy would say no why and I'd be like "oh no reason" lol, or I'd be like "yeah I had fun today, Misa's boyfriend came over and we played my Nintendo until they went in the room and locked the door" and my favorite was "mom why does Ron keep 'tea' in a little tiny baggy in the drawer in his room."
My parents played a part in the tension too. My dad was trying to make up on me for all the mistakes he had made with my sister (him and her mom went through an ugly divorce) and my mom was trying to provide more for me then she could as a single parent to my brother. So a lot of things they got yelled at for I often got away with e.g. throwing a temper tantrum in Landover Mall for a purple Adi.das sweatsuit (I was fashionable then too lol). Instead of me getting my ass whipped like I should have my dad bought it along with some purple sneakers. My parents also would send me on dates with them (more of my dad's doing), my brother in law always teases me how his first date with my sister was really a date with me and my sister. Christmas was also a cause of tension, one year I had so much stuff that all my gifts were put in the family room downstairs and everyone else's stuff was under the tree upstairs. I was also the one that was in protocol school; taking piano flute and voice lessons; horse back riding; participating in forensics and debates... all before I was like 7.
When they went to college things began to change I was like seven and they were both gone. I basically lived as an only child but I had some perks and appreciated them. I was seven staying in my sisters dorm at Norfolk (like Rudy did when she visited Denise at Hillman) and I even went to class with her. I got to go wit my sister to Del State to see her boyfriend (now my brother in law) play football. They would go on a date and his roommate would watch me (hmm now it makes sense why I like Ques so much lol). When I visited my brother at NCCU while he was playing football I got to sit with the cheerleaders (he dated one) and they let me go with them to practice. My brother's friends were sick of hearing how smart his little sister was and how she was going to take over the world when she grew up. Then to top it I was like the only kid in elementary who was flyy and didn't look busted because my sister and brother wouldn't let that happen and then I was A HIT when my sister let me carry her MCM bag to school one day lol.
There was still a little tension growing up because I was so "spoiled" but a lot of that changed when my dad passed away. We learned to be a support unit for each other. The only issues we really had then were all in jest and how my mom got leniant with me e.g. me having no curfew and driving a brand new car at 16. But we were definitely tighter. My brother would joke how he couldn't wait til I was 18 to take me to drink lol (not 21 but 18 lol) and my sister got married and became a mommy and so I became super aunt and was spoiling her kids and spending more time with her.
Our tight sibling triangle got broken February 6, 1998. I was walking home from school and I saw my sister's car at my house. I knew something was wrong because my mom was home early and my sister should have been at work. I walked in the door my mom and sister just both looked at me and then told me my brother had been killed in an accident. I think that was one of THE MOST devastating moments in my life. That actually hit me harder then my dad dying. See my brother lived in NC and had been home 2 weeks earlier we all went out and they treated me like an adult for a change. We took a family portrait and sibling portrait and we had soo much fun and then that.
That was a rough time in my life but it made my sister and I's bond tighter. She's actually more like a mom at times. When I went to college she cried and wouldn't come visit "because I was growing up too fast," she asked "does your campus have a health center just in case you need some prophylactics" lol, and sent me flannel pj's with teddy bears and feet in them and buttons instead of zippers to keep the boys away. When I turned 21 she couldn't believe that and cried my entire party (also could have been her hormones since she was 8 months pregnant lol). Even now she gets all nervous if she sees me with a drink and questions who I'm going out with where am I going, be in at a decent hour etc. When my mom was out of town she made me come over for dinner to make sure I ate (like I can't cook) and whenever I visit during the week she always packs my lunch lol (and my nephew who is 10 gets an attitude because he has to pack his own lol).
Things started out rough and they were not too thrilled with my pending arrival. Part of the triangle is missing and with that we feel like a piece of us is missing. But my siblings are one part of My Black Family that I feel like I couldn't have received or asked for anything better.
Now that I'm older I appreciate them more and feel blessed that this little spoiled unexpected kid had them to look up to.
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