notes from the management...
To the lady on Mass Ave,
I understand that you have to get to work and your bicycle is your mode of transportation. But is a trench coat, kneeboots, biker shorts and a backpack which I hoped was stuffed with a skirt or some slacks appropiate travel attire. I mean if you thought enough to put on biker shorts perhaps in that same thought sneakers should have came to mind instead of 3 inch stiletto kneeboots. Also while I'm discussing you can you not ride in the center lane up Massachusetts Ave. at eight in the morning. In case you didn't know... you are not a car. An engine does not give you energy and you have no motor to run on, your feet my dear do all of that... unless Lance Armstrong is your first cousin once removed I'd really like you to stay out my way.
Thanks,
The Management
Dear sir,
I know that you are trying to do the corporate thing. I see you daily walking to work with your locs looking tight and your briefcase looking like you are headed for success. But today what went wrong? Did you stop by the old neighborhood and people teased you like you were Calvin because you got a new job? Did some of your homeboys see you looking all "corporate" and tell you that you were a sell out? Did you watch some movie this weekend that made you decide that you wanted to rebel and say F the system and the man? I mean please give me an answer. What possesed you to roll up one of your suit pant legs like LL in an old video from the 90's. Who does that with a suit. Not even a regular suit from like mens warehouse for 99.99 but a straight up tailored suit. I though maybe it was an accident but the precision used to roll up that leg showed that it was on purpose. That also leads me to telling you that in making that rolled leg statement you also became a bama for not having on a sock with those wingtips. Kind sir, please do us a favor and stop smoking that stuff, stop letting your friends tell you that you sold out, do us a favor and uncuff and unroll.
Thanks,
The Management
Dear Management of Waterfront Plaza,
I see that you read my blog before and got rid of the sleeping jherri curl laden security guard and I am quite grateful for that, I really am. I don't want you to think I'm ungrateful or anything but replacing a sleeping jherri curl laden guard with a 450 pound guard with a patch over his eye and goggle glasses like the ones Kareem Abdul-Jabbar used to wear isn't much better. Especially when he seems to think that he looks like Morris Chestnut and likes to ask me and numerous other women in the building when are we treating him to lunch the old Christen so wanted to say when your eye gets fixed and you loose 200 but I didn't. Don't get me wrong I appreciate that he stays awake and he rarely leaves the guard station, but he's also not to mobile. I am really starting to think that because this building is filled with creative firms that you just don't care about our well being. I'd like to feel some sense of security in knowing that if someone ran up in here at least the guard could get out of his chair and chase him more then three feet with out getting tired or be able to see him clearly to identify him in a line up. I know it's all about equal opportunity but please think about me and all the rich white people in the building who's safety is at hand. If you don't do it for me do it for the rich white people.
Thanks,
The Management
I understand that you have to get to work and your bicycle is your mode of transportation. But is a trench coat, kneeboots, biker shorts and a backpack which I hoped was stuffed with a skirt or some slacks appropiate travel attire. I mean if you thought enough to put on biker shorts perhaps in that same thought sneakers should have came to mind instead of 3 inch stiletto kneeboots. Also while I'm discussing you can you not ride in the center lane up Massachusetts Ave. at eight in the morning. In case you didn't know... you are not a car. An engine does not give you energy and you have no motor to run on, your feet my dear do all of that... unless Lance Armstrong is your first cousin once removed I'd really like you to stay out my way.
Thanks,
The Management
Dear sir,
I know that you are trying to do the corporate thing. I see you daily walking to work with your locs looking tight and your briefcase looking like you are headed for success. But today what went wrong? Did you stop by the old neighborhood and people teased you like you were Calvin because you got a new job? Did some of your homeboys see you looking all "corporate" and tell you that you were a sell out? Did you watch some movie this weekend that made you decide that you wanted to rebel and say F the system and the man? I mean please give me an answer. What possesed you to roll up one of your suit pant legs like LL in an old video from the 90's. Who does that with a suit. Not even a regular suit from like mens warehouse for 99.99 but a straight up tailored suit. I though maybe it was an accident but the precision used to roll up that leg showed that it was on purpose. That also leads me to telling you that in making that rolled leg statement you also became a bama for not having on a sock with those wingtips. Kind sir, please do us a favor and stop smoking that stuff, stop letting your friends tell you that you sold out, do us a favor and uncuff and unroll.
Thanks,
The Management
Dear Management of Waterfront Plaza,
I see that you read my blog before and got rid of the sleeping jherri curl laden security guard and I am quite grateful for that, I really am. I don't want you to think I'm ungrateful or anything but replacing a sleeping jherri curl laden guard with a 450 pound guard with a patch over his eye and goggle glasses like the ones Kareem Abdul-Jabbar used to wear isn't much better. Especially when he seems to think that he looks like Morris Chestnut and likes to ask me and numerous other women in the building when are we treating him to lunch the old Christen so wanted to say when your eye gets fixed and you loose 200 but I didn't. Don't get me wrong I appreciate that he stays awake and he rarely leaves the guard station, but he's also not to mobile. I am really starting to think that because this building is filled with creative firms that you just don't care about our well being. I'd like to feel some sense of security in knowing that if someone ran up in here at least the guard could get out of his chair and chase him more then three feet with out getting tired or be able to see him clearly to identify him in a line up. I know it's all about equal opportunity but please think about me and all the rich white people in the building who's safety is at hand. If you don't do it for me do it for the rich white people.
Thanks,
The Management
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