Loser's of the Week
I decided to come up with this award to recognize some people who's recent actions have classified them as a "Grade A Loser." It takes alot to get on this list (well not really) but these people just had to be recognized for their "loserness"....
The first award goes to my cousin. She deserves this award because she left her husband. So what you say. Well she left her husband because she asked him for something and he said no. Thats right. This 25 year old spoiled ass brat left her husband packed up her isht and moved to another state to live with her mom because her husband said no. What did he say no to you ask? I'm glad you asked. She asked him to get a THIRD job because she wasn't getting enough allowance. That's right. Her stay at home non working ass asked her husband to get another job so she could have more spending money. Here is what makes her a BIGGER loser. She called her brother and another one of our cousins crying and lead them to believe that the husband "hurt" her in a physical way. So her brother flew 1000 miles busted in the house with my other cousin moved all her stuff out and dared him to contact his sister again, only later to find out that the only thing that got hurt were her feelings. Here is the kicker. She, the loser cousin, and her baby now lives in her mom's guestroom in a freaking retirement area in Florida AND she no longer stays at home, she has the lucrative job of being a stockgirl in Se.ars. She's also getting sued by her husband for custody and he may press a kidnapping charge and guess what he'll probably win. So she should have dealt with the no. And for that she is one of the losers of the week.
The next award goes to my friends old roommate. You all remember her from previous entries, the urban princess. Well the urban princess decided she didn't want to stay with my friend anymore which is fine and dandy. Only one issue she didn't tell my friend. This obviously wasn't a spur of the moment decision because the princess was already semi moved into her new apartment when she sent my friend an EMAIL saying that the prior weekend was her last night in the apartment. Not only is she shady and a loser for not telling her in advance so she could have prepared... but she pulled a bitch move emailing her on a friday at 4 when my friend leaves work at 3:30 and won't be checking email until monday at 7. The thing that makes her the biggest loser is she was like well I'll still give you part of this months rent and i'll give you 100dollars towards next months expensive. Ummm when rent costs 1100 and you two also split cable what will 100 do. For that Urban Princess I declare you a loser.
The third award goes to one of my fraternity brothers. When dude (another frat brother) was punking you in the parking lot you were silent as hayle well actually you were moreso pleading, "man lets just work this out" but it's strange that as soon as you LB came out you tried to swing on him and you missed *gasp* that was the funniest yet most tragic thing I've seen in in a while. You already were delusional trying to be hard in a white blazer and a fuschia button down but then when he had you hemmed in the alley and your peeps had to drive through and they all jumped out the 2005 Jag like the GQ gang (I'm talking Lauren, Pra.da, BR, La.coste and a wide assortment of metro.sexual haberdashery) to come save you (not to help fight) you should have called it quits. But no you want to wait until you get in the Jag with your safety belt on all four doors locked and halfway to the street before you scream out to him "you didn't want none of this bitch. come see me on my yard." Come on now dude. I could have beat you up and the fact that you pulled a bitch move and screamed at him once you were secure in the luxury vehicle also makes you a loser. *disclaimer- there is still plenty of Coleman.Love but that doesn't make him any less of a girl or a loser*
The final award goes to the man in Cham.mps on friday. Sir everyone was in there watching the Wiz.ards whip up on the BullsAND your table was in front of the big screen. I WAS NOT LOOKING AT YOU, I was watching the game. If I was staring it was because you had 1,684,834 teeth in your mouth that were all stacked on top of each other. So for you to come over to my table and tell my friends that you saw me staring at you with lust in my eyes makes you not only a loser but a damn fool. They weren't laughing because I was "caught" supposedly making googly eyes they were laughing because they knew good and well that if you were the last man on earth I'd pray that I had some batteries somewhere.
The first award goes to my cousin. She deserves this award because she left her husband. So what you say. Well she left her husband because she asked him for something and he said no. Thats right. This 25 year old spoiled ass brat left her husband packed up her isht and moved to another state to live with her mom because her husband said no. What did he say no to you ask? I'm glad you asked. She asked him to get a THIRD job because she wasn't getting enough allowance. That's right. Her stay at home non working ass asked her husband to get another job so she could have more spending money. Here is what makes her a BIGGER loser. She called her brother and another one of our cousins crying and lead them to believe that the husband "hurt" her in a physical way. So her brother flew 1000 miles busted in the house with my other cousin moved all her stuff out and dared him to contact his sister again, only later to find out that the only thing that got hurt were her feelings. Here is the kicker. She, the loser cousin, and her baby now lives in her mom's guestroom in a freaking retirement area in Florida AND she no longer stays at home, she has the lucrative job of being a stockgirl in Se.ars. She's also getting sued by her husband for custody and he may press a kidnapping charge and guess what he'll probably win. So she should have dealt with the no. And for that she is one of the losers of the week.
The next award goes to my friends old roommate. You all remember her from previous entries, the urban princess. Well the urban princess decided she didn't want to stay with my friend anymore which is fine and dandy. Only one issue she didn't tell my friend. This obviously wasn't a spur of the moment decision because the princess was already semi moved into her new apartment when she sent my friend an EMAIL saying that the prior weekend was her last night in the apartment. Not only is she shady and a loser for not telling her in advance so she could have prepared... but she pulled a bitch move emailing her on a friday at 4 when my friend leaves work at 3:30 and won't be checking email until monday at 7. The thing that makes her the biggest loser is she was like well I'll still give you part of this months rent and i'll give you 100dollars towards next months expensive. Ummm when rent costs 1100 and you two also split cable what will 100 do. For that Urban Princess I declare you a loser.
The third award goes to one of my fraternity brothers. When dude (another frat brother) was punking you in the parking lot you were silent as hayle well actually you were moreso pleading, "man lets just work this out" but it's strange that as soon as you LB came out you tried to swing on him and you missed *gasp* that was the funniest yet most tragic thing I've seen in in a while. You already were delusional trying to be hard in a white blazer and a fuschia button down but then when he had you hemmed in the alley and your peeps had to drive through and they all jumped out the 2005 Jag like the GQ gang (I'm talking Lauren, Pra.da, BR, La.coste and a wide assortment of metro.sexual haberdashery) to come save you (not to help fight) you should have called it quits. But no you want to wait until you get in the Jag with your safety belt on all four doors locked and halfway to the street before you scream out to him "you didn't want none of this bitch. come see me on my yard." Come on now dude. I could have beat you up and the fact that you pulled a bitch move and screamed at him once you were secure in the luxury vehicle also makes you a loser. *disclaimer- there is still plenty of Coleman.Love but that doesn't make him any less of a girl or a loser*
The final award goes to the man in Cham.mps on friday. Sir everyone was in there watching the Wiz.ards whip up on the BullsAND your table was in front of the big screen. I WAS NOT LOOKING AT YOU, I was watching the game. If I was staring it was because you had 1,684,834 teeth in your mouth that were all stacked on top of each other. So for you to come over to my table and tell my friends that you saw me staring at you with lust in my eyes makes you not only a loser but a damn fool. They weren't laughing because I was "caught" supposedly making googly eyes they were laughing because they knew good and well that if you were the last man on earth I'd pray that I had some batteries somewhere.
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